Eliminate the Waste

“It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?” - Henry David Thoreau

I really like this quote. It is simple and asks a very direct, but pure question. What am I truly busy with? I have been down lately, and I could not really verbalize why. However, while I was at work the other day a co-worker and I were talking and they mentioned that I work a lot and I laughed and agreed and proceeded with my day. But I started to think about being busy and what I was actually busy doing. Yeah, I have three jobs, and three kids who are getting into extracurricular activities, and trying to keep up with various writing projects, and just the day-to-day life “stuff”. These are all good things! My work is something that I find joy doing. My wife and kids are everything to me. So taking them to ice skating, gymnastics, etc. even on 0 hours of sleep brings my life incredible value. My writing is an outlet for my thoughts, which is also valuable. 

So, what’s the problem? Well, I feel distracted and at times, I feel lost. 

I took some time to examine these thoughts and emotions. What I discovered was a lot of wasted time that was toxic to the areas of my life that provide value. I tried to tell myself, “Put your head down and work and as long as you’re doing that, it’s ok.” Well it’s not. I learned that I was busy with things that were taking me off the course that I wanted to be on. I was losing focus on the goals I set for myself. I became reactive to situations as opposed to proactive. And I started to lose sight of my values. I also started to make excuses for these behaviors.

This happened to me because I put too much time and attention on things that I consider a waste. This includes mindless time on my phone using social media, fantasy football, and chat forums that were not productive. However, it was more than that. It was a lack of accountability for the goals I set. It’s ok to have interests in things that are not considered productive. If it provides value to your life, even taking your mind off something so you can relax, then there is purpose. It’s also ok to have a lot of different goals, but mine lacked measurability and direction.

A significant issue was time management and my allocation of time on things that were not pushing me to accomplish my goals. I notice that when I lose sight of my goals, I also lose sight on who I am. As I mentioned, I become reactive when I lose my clarity and I would say things like, “Wow, that situation made me so mad!” or “I can’t believe this happened!”. I started blaming others for my feelings and emotions. When I am focused, I am much more proactive and have more control of my emotions and I do not let outside stimuli affect me to the levels in which it does now. 

Ok, now that I have identified the problem, where do I go from here?

This is where I need to decide how to effectively divide my time. For starters, I need to set limits on how much time I am spending on social media or my phone. This applies when I am at work and when I am at home. It’s ok to scroll through Twitter or watch a mindless video on Facebook as long as it’s a reasonable amount of time that is not deterring you from your desired outcome. I also need to allow myself breaks when I notice I am losing focus. I need to determine what is the best use of my time when I have it. So, when I am at home with my kids, is that the best time to research a topic for one of my writing projects? Or should I use time before bed to catch up on Twitter, or would that be better served communicating with my wife? 

I need to review my goals. I have a lot of goals, but they are vague. So I began to revise them and I am making them achievable and measurable. One of my goals from last year was “Get healthier”. I wonder why that did not work? I broke it down into subcategories such as mental health, physical health, diet, and exercise and then made specific goals. For example, I want to cut my energy drink consumption to every other day by March 1st. And I want to practice mindful meditation for five minutes every morning. Or I want to put my phone away 30 minutes prior to going to bed to improve sleep. 

And finally, I need to reevaluate my core values. These are qualities that we believe about ourselves, other people, and the environment in which we live in. And sometimes, when we allow outside stimuli to enter our minds, it can change our core values. And for me, it did. I became more negative. I started saying things like “I am stupid” or “I am not good enough” because I was not satisfied with how I was living my life and the decisions I was making. It’s not that I am stupid, it’s that I was busy doing things that were taking me off track from where I wanted to go. I made a lot of excuses for my behavior. 

This is meant to be encouraging. Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, are you busy doing things that matter? And if not, adjust. I have not posted on my blog in months. I got off track and stopped doing things that provided me value. I took the first step today by writing this article. You can not go forward without taking the first step. Don’t let waste, excuses, or harmful core beliefs stop you from being the best version of yourself. Make a change, and make it for yourself, and make it today.